


The Song of the Two Thieves

by trickybonmot



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Audio version included, Drinking Songs, Drunk Sex, Humor, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, One Night Stands, Poetry, Remix, Song Lyrics, Wits On Tap Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 02:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10755282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickybonmot/pseuds/trickybonmot
Summary: For Wits On Tap 2017: an adaptation of DoctorNerdingtons wonderful fic, The Night of the Two Thieves.





	The Song of the Two Thieves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doctornerdington](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornerdington/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Night of the Two Thieves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298166) by [doctornerdington](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornerdington/pseuds/doctornerdington). 



> I have written a sort of stage musical Irish drinking song. Yep. I highly recommend reading the fic! I had never considered John/Tom before, but suddenly it seems so inevitable. Dr. N's take is scorching hot and super angsty, and treats Tom with a level of respect that is at once surprising and totally authentic feeling. 
> 
> Uh. What I've done here is somewhat on the lighter side. It has a tune, so I'm afraid I had to sing it. [Give a listen, if you dare!](https://soundcloud.com/user-867038941/song-of-the-two-thieves/s-jVpkZ)

JOHN:  
I sat in the bar on that terrible night,  
Shit-faced and needing a fuck or a fight.  
Why could I never get anything right?  
Then a familiar face came in sight.

CHORUS:  
Oh, my love! My love!  
I’ll drink this night away.  
Tomorrow I’ll pay  
And regret yesterday  
But now pour me another one, Tom,  
My lad! And pour me another one, Tom.

TOM:  
So you were a soldier, a captain they say.  
Well Captain, command me! I’ll not say you nay.  
A doctor as well! Can you make me okay?  
Y’know, doctor’s the name of a game we could play.

CHORUS:  
Oh, my love! My love!  
I’ll drink this pain away  
Tomorrow I’ll pay  
And regret yesterday  
But now pour me another one, Tom,  
My lad! And pour me another one, Tom.

JOHN:  
Ah yes, I recall you, the meat dagger guy.  
Well you may be dumb, but no dumber than I,  
A guy whose love life is a laughable lie!  
And speaking of meat, are you touching my thigh?

CHORUS:  
Oh, my love! My love!  
I’ll drink my mind away  
Tomorrow I’ll pay  
And regret yesterday  
But now pour me another one, Tom,  
My lad! And pour me another one, Tom.

JOHN:  
Well you're pretty enough and you are pretty tall,  
Not really anything like him at all.  
Just lie in my bed with your face to the wall  
And kindly ignore any name that I call.

CHORUS:  
And it’s one finger in! Two fingers in!  
And then give ‘em what they’re beggin’ for.  
I don’t know your name  
But I know I just came  
Here to pour me another one, Tom,  
My love! And pour me another one, Tom.

JOHN:  
You are a kind man and I have been cruel.

TOM:  
I did not mind, but then I am a fool.

BOTH:  
God, I am tired of being a tool!  
So pour me another one, Tom, my lad!  
And pour me another one, Tom.


End file.
